


in which charles and erik are drunken vampires

by HalfAnachronism



Series: Cherik Stuff [6]
Category: X-Men (Movies), X-Men - All Media Types, X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014) - Fandom, X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, Drunken Kissing, Emetophobia, Fluff, M/M, Vampire AU, bare with me here, bit of a slow build despite being short as shit, charles talks philosophy, drunken vampires, emetophobia tw, erik is too drunk for that shit, what dorks honestly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-21
Updated: 2016-04-21
Packaged: 2018-06-03 12:53:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6611347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HalfAnachronism/pseuds/HalfAnachronism
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based off of tumblr user frankduchamp's text post:<br/>"two vampire friends lying on the floor getting drunk and describing eachother because they can’t use mirrors don’t even try to tell me that isn’t adorable"</p>
            </blockquote>





	in which charles and erik are drunken vampires

 

"You're... very... shark-like, I suppose," Charles stated.

Erik wrinkled his nose in response. "Shark-like?"

"Yes. Like a shark."

"I understand what shark-like _means_ , Charles. But why am _I_ shark-like?"

Charles rolled over onto his stomach, propping himself up on his elbows to get a better view of his friend. For the past hour and a half, he and Erik had been lying together on the floor, drinking vodka and giggling. At some point Erik had mentioned that he didn't know what he looked like 'due to the whole vampirism thing', which had prompted Charles to begin his drunken yet scholarly analysis of Erik's piscine features.

"I don't know. You're just..... sharky."

"Care to elaborate?"

"Erik, I've drunk the better part of three bottles of vodka, I don't think I _can_ elaborate."

Erik laughed. "You're ridiculous."

"Oh, that's what it is!"

"What?"

"Your smile."

"My _smile?"_

"Yes. Your teeth, more precisely. Very... pointy. If a shark could smile, it'd smile like you."

Erik chuckled. "You're absurd."

"That's completely true. Now do me."

"Do you?"

"Describe me. What do I look like?"

"Like a drunken idiot."

"Hush."

"You know, way back when I was a sailor, we used to sing this song–"

"You weren't a sailor. You couldn't've been. You're not that old."

"I'm a good few centuries older than you, remember? Hell, even _I_ forget how young you are. You're practically a baby."

Charles smiled. "Just because I'm not ancient doesn't mean I'm a baby, Erik."

"Whatever you say. Anywho, we used to sing this song called Drunken Sailor, and I'm sure you can guess what it was about."

"Well, it probably wasn't about motherfuckin' snakes on a motherfuckin' plane."

"Correct."

"So why are you mentioning this song?"

"Because that's what you remind me of right now. A drunken sailor," Erik studied Charles's face for a moment. "You're so drunk you're almost nonsensical."

" _Please,"_ Charles laughed. "I'm not _that_ drunk." He took another swig from the bottle.

"You will be soon enough."

"So tell me what I look like before I'm too drunk to understand you!"

Both men laughed.

"Well, you're... small."

"That's helpful."

"You called me shark-like. That's not exactly descriptive, now is it?"

"Oh well. Do continue."

"You've got blue eyes."

"So I'm told."

"Really, _really_ blue. The shiniest blue. Disturbingly blue."

"All right. What else?"

Erik stared intensely at his friend as if he'd never seen him before, inspecting every spot on his face. "Dark hair."

_"Erik."_

"I'm trying, okay? I'm not exactly a writer."

"What does my _face_ look like? My smile?"

"Adorable."

"Shut up."

"I'm not kidding. A smile so adorable it could break hearts and mend them at the same time. A perfectly kissable smile."

"And you claim you're not a writer."

"I'm not. I'm just a shark."

They both giggled. Charles couldn't stop himself from smiling.

Erik stated, "Are you sure I don't look like a shark due to the fangs?"

"Oh no," Charles insisted. "You'd still be shark-like without 'em. Your smile is utterly terrifying. A big bad wolf type of smile."

"So I'm a wolf now?"

"No, you're still a shark."

"Thought so." Erik sighed and looked toward the ceiling. "So we're a shark and a marshmallow. What an unlikely pair."

"Hold on, I'm a _marshmallow?"_

"But of course!"

"Where did _that_ come from?"

"From your marshmallowy smile, obviously."

"You're an idiot."

"Well it's not like you can see yourself."

Charles smiled playfully. "L'enfer c'est les autres."

Despite knowing French, Erik lifted an eyebrow in confusion.

Charles continued, "You know. Sartre. _Hell is other people_. Meaning that when you judge yourself, you judge yourself off of other people's perception of you. Using other people as mirrors, and the like. But defining yourself through mirrors that distort you is, well, hell. Or something like that."

 "Charles, I'm afraid I'm too drunk for philosophy." Erik joked. "And anywho, are you claiming I'm a bad mirror? I called you cute, what more could you ask for?" He smiled at his friend.

"I'm not saying you're a bad mirror. Just saying that since I literally can't see myself in a mirror, and therefore have to rely on someone else's perception of me, hell can be other people."

"Again, too drunk for philosophy. You're beautiful, Charles. Inside and out." Erik drank from the bottle, and then teased, "And if you could see yourself in a mirror, you'd become so incredibly vain, so let's not act like the non-reflective thing is necessarily bad."

"You're probably right. After all, I'm... what was it you said? Perfectly kissable?"

"I suppose I used those words, yes."

"If I'm so kissable, why haven't you kissed me yet?"

"Didn't think you'd want me to."

"Well, I want you to. I'm drunk and I'm happy and we're on the floor, let's just seal the deal before I vomit."

"I was excited until the vomit bit."

"Well are you going to kiss me or not?"

"Not if you're going to vomit."

"I won't vomit, Erik." Charles grinned. "Come here, you ass."

Erik lifted his head up, his lips meeting Charles's halfway there. Before he could wrap his drunken mind around it, Charles had already adjusted their bodies so that he was almost on top of Erik, both of them slightly turned in to each other, their chests touching. Charles had an arm around Erik, and Erik could barely believe how many decades it took for them to finally get to where they were.

The beautiful moment was suddenly interrupted by Charles, who broke the kiss randomly and vomited over Erik's shoulder. Erik just sighed and rubbed his friend's back as he puked.

"I'm sorry about this, my friend." Charles whispered.

"I've seen worse. I'm a vampire, after all." Erik joked. "One of the deadliest creatures to roam this earth."

"Well, we vampires don't really look so deadly when puking all over one another." Charles chuckled.

"From where I'm sitting, I find it all quite menacing."

"Again, sorry about this. Maybe next time we'll try wine instead of vodka."

"Maybe next time we'll skip straight to the kissing bit."

"That sounds absolutely delightful."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! If you have a prompt you want written (for just about any ship), please send me an ask at charles-francis-lehnsherr.tumblr.com!


End file.
